<\/p>\n

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<\/div>\n

The Silent Treatment<\/strong>
\nA man drinks at a bar after arguing with his wife.
\n\u201cShe won\u2019t speak to me for a month,\u201d he sighs.
\nThe bartender says, \u201cGo home and fix it tonight.\u201d
\n\u201cYou don\u2019t understand,\u201d the man replies. \u201cThis is the last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
The Dancing Duck<\/strong>
\nA circus owner buys a tap-dancing duck.
\nWhen it doesn\u2019t dance, he storms back angry.
\nThe owner asks calmly, \u201cDid you light a candle under the pot?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The Pirate\u2019s Eye Patch<\/strong>
\nA pirate explains his wooden leg and hook from battle injuries.
\n\u201cAnd your eye?\u201d asks the bartender.
\n\u201cBird droppings,\u201d says the pirate.
\n\u201cThat can\u2019t cost an eye!\u201d
\n\u201cIt was my first day with the hook.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Ducks Downtown<\/strong>
\nA man is told to take his ducks to the zoo.
\nNext day, they\u2019re back \u2014 wearing sunglasses.
\n\u201cI did,\u201d he says. \u201cToday they wanted the beach.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Heaven Is Free<\/strong>
\nIn heaven, a man asks the price of mansions, golf, and food.
\n\u201cAll free,\u201d says St. Peter.
\nThe man turns to his wife and yells,
\n\u201cIf it weren\u2019t for your healthy diet, we\u2019d have been here ten years ago!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n
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