{"id":315,"date":"2026-01-02T19:42:56","date_gmt":"2026-01-02T19:42:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/?p=315"},"modified":"2026-01-02T19:42:56","modified_gmt":"2026-01-02T19:42:56","slug":"my-ex-gave-me-eggs-and-bologna-then-bragged-about-what","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/?p=315","title":{"rendered":"\u201cMy Ex Gave Me Eggs and Bologna\u2026 Then Bragged About What?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"code-block code-block-1\" style=\"margin: 8px auto; text-align: center; display: block; clear: both;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1808756\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Breakups are messy. But mine?<br \/>\nMine involved cold cuts and public humiliation.<\/p>\n<p>After finally kicking my ex, Alex, out of my life, I thought I was free. But a week later, he showed up at my doorstep holding a grocery bag like some kind of sad, meat-based peace offering.<\/p>\n<p>Inside: a dozen eggs and half a pound of bologna.<\/p>\n<p>No note. No apology. Just a weird, greasy silence and a mumbled, \u201cThought you could use this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I took it, mostly just to shut the door without a fight.<br \/>\nLater, I tossed the bologna and made an omelet. End of story, right?<\/p>\n<p>Wrong.<\/p>\n<p>A few hours later, I ran into a mutual friend at a coffee shop. We chatted briefly, and then he said something that made my stomach turn:<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cI saw Alex today. He was bragging that he\u00a0<em>bought you groceries<\/em>\u00a0because you were\u00a0<em>struggling to eat<\/em>\u00a0without him.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I blinked.<br \/>\n<strong>\u201cHe what?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Apparently, in Alex\u2019s warped little fantasy world,\u00a0<strong>those $6 worth of breakfast basics<\/strong>\u00a0were proof that I couldn\u2019t survive without him. He\u2019d even told people,<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>\u201cShe looked so thankful\u2014like I saved her or something.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Let me be clear: I didn\u2019t ask for help. I didn\u2019t need help. And I definitely wasn\u2019t rescued by a man whose idea of generosity was\u00a0<strong>discount deli meat.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, I texted him just three words:<br \/>\n<strong>\u201cKeep the bologna.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<p><strong>Moral of the story?<\/strong><br \/>\nSometimes, the only thing your ex brings to the table\u2026<br \/>\nis exactly what he handed you:<br \/>\n<strong>full of bologna.<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-2\" style=\"margin: 8px 0; clear: both;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1808755\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- CONTENT END 1 --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Breakups are messy. But mine? Mine involved cold cuts and public humiliation. After finally kicking my ex, Alex, out of my life, I thought I was free. But a week &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":316,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=315"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":317,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions\/317"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heightshowtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}